Seattle Girl on Cape Cod: Collaborating with the Unknown

"By choosing your thoughts, and by selecting which emotional currents you will release and which you will reinforce, you determine the quality of your Light. You determine the effects that you will have on others, and the nature of the experience of your life."—Gary Zukov from Seat of the Soul.

 Dear fellow Humans,

There's lots to fear in the world we live in today. There's a pandemic and people are dying.

 Or is that the unreliable narrator playing its part? Or am I the unreliable narrator?

 It's hard to distinguish fact from fiction today and everyone will tell you that what THEY believe and  follow are the FACTS without a doubt. So then others are called to question their own beliefs and facts and, since we all influence each other, we begin to FOLLOW what we are told rather than what is intrinsically true for each one of us. I can't deny what's true for you. What's true for you IS what's true for you. I'm not going to try and convince you otherwise. You have a right to believe and follow what you want to believe and follow. 

Part of why we create a story to begin with is because we are AFRAID of the unknown. Humans don't do well with what they don't know. It's easier to have a story. A story makes us feel like we know what's going on. 

The funny thing is, we've never known what will happen. NEVER. It's always been a mystery. We can't control what others will do, say or be. We only have the power to decide what we will do, say or be in this world at this moment in time.

Rather than fight the unknown and demand answers, I've found a way to collaborate with it. In fact, working with the unknown has become second nature to me. The unknown is highly intelligent and intuitive. When you are open to the unknown, amazing things happen. There's a co-creation that occurs that most often defies logic. If you are closed to it, you will only see what's in front of you or what's dished up for you to see.

In my life, there have been so many clear signs of the unknown tapping me on the shoulder and saying, "Can you hear me? I'm here. Let's create!"

When I hold tight to my old ideas or beliefs, no other energy is allowed to enter. I've basically decided on THE STORY of my life. Period. Most of the story I've created comes from past trauma or old patterns and beliefs that are no longer true. 

Examples:

"I'm poor and don't have much money."

"I'll never find a partner."

"You have to work hard for your money."

"Work is unenjoyable."

"I'll never be a home owner."

"I am not healthy."

"This has been a very hard year with no brightness anywhere."

These are messages that end with a period. There's no room for anything else to enter. It's the END of the story. 

But how about trying these instead:

"All the abundance in the world is available to me."

"There are many possible partners out there just waiting to literally bump into me."

"Work that I love flows easily into my life."

"My work is enjoyable."

"The perfect home is waiting for me and I can feel I'll have it soon."

"I'm in optimal health. I've never felt better and everyday I give my body the attention and love it needs."

"This year has had some challenges, for sure, but I still see brightness and possibility everywhere I look."

I just rewrote the STORY. Am I the unreliable narrator or am I simply collaborating with the unknown? Did you notice that the second group of statements were not definitive. They didn't have a feeling of "absoluteness" to them. They were more open and free. And maybe, to an extent, unreliable. Why? Because our PAST HISTORY, patterns and beliefs have told us that they simply CAN'T be TRUE. 

Why not try on a different HAT for size? Go out on a limb and create a new story. Collaborate with the unknown and unwritten, just to see what happens. 

Well, here's my story for an example:

I was in WA state and for months had been trying to buy a home. There was NOTHING I could afford, or so I told myself. 

"I guess I'll just be poor forever and roam from rental to rental. I'm not meant to have a home." 

A big part of me believed this story. I am attached to the wandering part of myself and LOVE it dearly, to the point of not really wanting to change the story, I guess. One day, while searching for homes on Zillow, I saw a listing for an off-season rental on Cape Cod that was extremely affordable. I hadn't considered Cape Cod. It wasn't the story I had imagined for myself. I was set on living on the Olympic Peninsula in WA State. Strangely, this rental on Cape Cod started to pull me in. I let go and I could feel myself living there and entertaining there and really loving it. I was open to a new story. I was open to ease and a different direction. All the times I visited Cape Cod with my boyfriend (his 97-year old mother and cousin live here and he grew up here) I loved it. Due to the "pandemic," I found myself teaching online, so currently, I can live anywhere. 

"But you better not uproot yourself. You better hold steady. You don't know when you'll have to go back to the classroom. It's unsafe to travel by car across the country right now. Coronavirus numbers are rising. You could get it. BE SAFE out there. Don't go out. You need to batten down the hatches and draw the shades and...and...and..." 

Who's story was this? Was it coming from FEAR or OPENNESS? Was it my story? What was I afraid of? 

When I let go, the unknown was sitting in the passenger seat right next to me saying, 

"Alright, here we go! So glad you tuned IN. You've known all along what to do. So glad you listened to your intuition. This is going to be absolutely GREAT!" 

And the next thing I knew, my boyfriend and I had secured a beautiful home on the lower Cape through the end of November. It was August when we started packing up our stuff. I'd been living in Airbnbs for the summer and uncertain of my next move and he had a short-term rental in Seattle that was ending soon. They were going to demolish his home to widen the road. Many of his carpentry jobs were coming to an end. I was about to go on a month-long break from teaching. The time was right. We put our stuff into two storage units. I sold my car. He got a camper top for his truck and we drove across the country, from WA State to Cape Cod. We stopped at a friend's cabin in Idaho and had a glorious two days swimming, eating and enjoying and then headed on the Lewis and Clark Trail to Montana where we pitched our tent at the Rusty Nail Ranch on Flathead Lake Indian Reservation. We saw bison and pronghorns and other wild animals. And behind our ranch was a shrine with 1000 buddhas. We visited there and met a woman who used to work at Boeing and also packed up all her things to work at the gift shop there. 

"I was called to come here," she said, "It didn't logically make sense, but everything lined up for me to be here." 

That's what collaborating with the unknown feels like. It doesn't logically make sense, but everything FEELS right. It all lines up and flows almost effortlessly.

We got to our home about 15 days later, having driven all the way across the country. When we first arrived, we were lost. The Lower Cape has mazes of homes down sandy paths with unknown street names. Some roads went half-way through and then ended. We found ourselves on the right road on the wrong section of it. My body immediately went to an old story, "Oh, no! It's late. We are lost. We will never find it." Scott, on the other hand, stepped outside in early September and felt the balmy, sultry air of the Lower Cape and listened to the crickets and didn't give a shit that he was lost. We had arrived! We were in paradise. He called his buddy he'd be working for (another part of the story we didn't plan or couldn't make up) who said, rather nonchalantly, "Why don't you try a different GPS. Maybe that will get you there." Within seconds, we were at our 'Downton Abbey' home and it was beyond amazing. I couldn't believe we were here!

Now, right now, as I sit here typing this, seven of the most glorious months of my life have just passed. We planned to stay here until the end of November, but it's nearly April and we are still here. Cape Cod Bay is a five minute walk down a shell-path from out home. We've witnessed spectacular sunsets almost every single night. We've kayaked and hiked and biked all over this place. We made it through the wild snow storms and have seen meteor showers from our upper deck. I can't tell you in this short blog post what we've experienced, but it's been out of this world. A dream really.

On April 1st, we have to move out. Our rental sold. We will move 10 minutes down the street to another rental near First Encounter Beach until June 19th. I was determined to live here through the summer, but it seemed nearly impossible since rent prices go up 4-10 times on Cape Cod in the summer. 

"It's impossible!" I thought. And well, we all know what happens to that story. It's over!

But, since I've been in the habit of keeping the door open with the unknown and I know clearly now that I'm co-creating my reality with source/God/my higher-self, I knew on a very deep level that anything is possible. So, before I knew it, I was putting an offer on a condo near a beach in Dennis that was selling for an unbeatable price. The condo ticked all the boxes I dreamed of in a home: low mortgage, the ability to Airbnb the unit, a pool, huge storage, low HOA, close to amazing beaches, kayaking and bike paths, next to Cape Cod Center for the Arts and the oldest summer theater in the United States, coffee shops, yoga schools, and the only pet you can have is a cat. The only pet I've ever wanted is a cat and recently I've REALLY wanted one.

So, if all goes through smoothly, we close on our new condo on Cape Cod on May 3rd. We will fix it up while we are living in our rental and make it our own. We may Airbnb it in the summers? Who knows? But we will have a place to live in for a good price in the summer and beyond
on Cape Cod and it is OURS!!! 

I didn't make this story up. This is my life. The only thing I did was decide to open and collaborate with the unknown. Life is always an unreliable narrator, but you get to intend on where you want the story to go. What words are you telling yourself about YOUR LIFE and LIFE AROUND YOU. Is that an old story? Is that your story even, or one you've been fed? Just something to consider.