Lots of changes to Blogger here, so not sure what my next step is. Probably my very own WEBSITE with a BLOG attached....whoa! I've always only had a blog. I've been a blogger for as long as blogging was possible...well, at least it feels like that. But things change, right?
How are you all doing on the EARTH PLANE? Not an easy place to exist, so I validate you if things have been difficult, intense, uneasy, heavy, chaotic, sad, lonely or anything else. Sometimes these emotions can make us feel like we are HITTING A WALL. And that can feel intense. Change is such a hard thing for us humans. We don't want to hit walls, we want things to be EASY. Funny thing about that is that on my desk I actually have an EASY BUTTON. When I push it, a voice says, "That was EASY!" Strangely, this button sometimes sounds at the oddest times, like when I drop it by mistake when I'm having a hard day or when I have it in a bag and I'm juggling a bunch of things in my arms and "That was EASY!" shouts out from my bag. It's very ironic, but maybe there's some truth to it.
So I'm about to let go of some big things because I feel my life is CALLING ME to do something different. This call has gotten SO INCREDIBLY LOUD that I can't NOT follow it. It's piercing. But part of what it's calling me to do feels a bit chaotic. Not all of it feels rational, stable, or even very clear.
The first thing I'm being called to do is to write here, or wherever my blog migrates to, every Friday. The next thing I'm being called to do is to write a page or two of my new book (I currently have 100 pages) everyday. I need to show up here to write EVERY SINGLE DAY! It's screaming at me to do so. I have things to say. The third and scariest thing I'm being called to do is to leave my current day job and home state. I'm being called to hit the road again. This is the part that feels a little chaotic and unstable. I can't see around the wall to the other side. The unknown scares me.
Today I hit a major WALL. I had a little argument with my boyfriend, but it wan't about him, it was about me and all the FEAR I'm feeling to make these HUGE LEAPS OF FAITH! The biggest leap is to phase myself out of work that is no longer fulfilling to me and to leave Seattle eventually to travel and find my new home. But the most important leap is TO OWN COMPLETELY who I am: internationally published author, psychic, shamanic practitioner, channeler, healer and intuitive writing teacher.
My boyfriend Scott and I started Seattle Psychic Institute in November. Within 4 months, we've led 22 classes and workshops and have managed to pay our rent from student fees. This is HUGE for us. It wasn't easy to start this up, but through this 4-month venture, I see that it is SOOO valuable to our world right now. More than anything, our world needs Earthlings to step into the light. We need people to face the fear and do it anyway. Staying in the comfort zone is not an option. Everyone will be called to look around and see what's not working in their own lives and shift these things.
So this summer, I'm stepping out into the great unknown again. I'm going to hit the road for awhile in order to find my new landing pad. I will launch again, but this time I feel things will be different.
Come July 1st, after spring quarter, I'm launching!
Sounds great, but the idea of launching is what made me hit the wall today. I spiraled into FEAR and thought I had no right believing I could do it. Fear of failure, fear of not being able to survive, fear of being homeless, fear of not pleasing people, fear of others saying, "I told you so. You should have stuck to the tried and true."
Tried and True. Where did we ever get from sticking to the safe, sound, logical, predictable, unchanging, or comfortable? Well, the comfort zone does have a purpose, but I don't believe we are meant to just sit there on our haunches and never push the edges of our limits. For in not doing so, we never find out what we are capable of.
So hitting a wall might be a good thing. And there are options when you hit your wall or limit. You can settle back down into the comfort zone and lick your wounds for awhile OR you can get down to business and REGROUP and think of what works and what doesn't OR you can look for a way around the wall. Is there a path, perhaps, that you haven't seen yet? Or is there one that is faint, yet calling YOU? And you may have excuses too. Believe me, I've had excuses. Here's how they go: "Oh, I'd like to do that, but I don't have enough time, money, abilities, resources.....fill in the blank.
All the people I've admired in my life, ones I've found inspiring, were fellow Earthlings who hit walls and kept going. I'm thinking of Albert Einstein, Martin Luther King Jr., Gandhi, Mother Teresa., etc. These are people who put all at risk to change the world. What if we all did that? What if we all lived to our fullest potential? What kind of world would we have?
Suddenly John Lennon lyrics and music just kicked in: "You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one. I hope someday you'll find us and the world will live as one."
Yes, I've hit wall friends. HUGE WALLS. But I'm bouncing back. Watch this blog and watch for my new book. Watch for classes and workshops. I currently do psychic readings via Facetime and Skype and I'm creating webinars and online classes with my partner as well as retreats around the world. Join me.... join us! Together we can do so much. I'm not afraid. I'm energized! I'm going to feel the fear and get on the other side of this wall.
Have you ever felt like you hit a wall and couldn't go any further. What helped you to move to the other side?
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