Hello fellow Earthlings,
It's Friday, but seriously, who is keeping track? Someone out there is, probably? I work from home (I'm a college teacher) and my schedule is muddled by the fact that there aren't any events anymore to punctuate my time. I hate to admit that I'm still in my pajamas at 2:41pm. There's no getting dressed up, defrosting the car, packing a lunch and driving through traffic to work anymore, so what's the point. In fact, I sold my car, so I only travel on foot or bicycle now.
There aren't many stores near my house, so yesterday I walked to the post office and got my mail, and then wandered into a tiny convenience store next to the post office and bought Drano, toothpaste, spaghetti sauce and glue sticks (for an art project). This was huge. But it got even better...
Near the gas station, there's one and only ONE boutique/art shop near my house called ARTichoke. I love it. They have tarot cards, crystals, incense, art, soap, bath salts clothes, kombucha, chocolate, jewelry, etc. I wandered around looking at everything. The whole place felt like a fantasy world of delight. When there's not much to stimulate the senses anymore, it doesn't take much.
I ended up leaving the shop with two crystals (rose quartz and aventurine), pomegranate lip balm, rose water from Italy, bath salts with essential oils, peppermint chocolate and a kombucha. Bliss!
I have to say, however, today wasn't quite as productive. It comes in waves for me. I always have great intentions when I start my day. Scott is the first to get up. He has to be at the job site at 9am. I usually wake up to the sound of him making coffee and singing. The smell of coffee and breakfast usually lures me downstairs. We try to eat together before he leaves and then the silence of the house sometimes leaves me yearning for connection. I don't have any friends here, so social media has become a substitute for social life. The problem with the internet is that I find myself being led down rabbit holes of information without realizing how much time has passed. In a normal world, I'd call up a friend to go on a walk or out to dinner. But we aren't living in a normal world anymore. Somehow I managed to save the day by doing four hours of work for my college job. I even squeezed in a tiny walk to the beach before the sun went down.
Truthfully, the long winter months on the East Coast are giving me a bit of cabin fever. While everyone in Seattle is elated about the snow coming tonight, ours has been on the ground for a week. It was exciting at first, but I can see why people here don't do snow dances. It's a given there will be snow and most likely A LOT of it.
On my walk yesterday, I felt so lonely that I started communicating with a male cardinal. It was call and response. He'd call and I'd respond. It went on for several minutes and finally I turned to continue my walk. I will say, it was a magical moment to actually be talking to an animal and have it hear me. It was a being besides Scott who I was communicating with in person. That does count for something.
This post sounds a bit sad. But truthfully, the tuning in part has been very rewarding and I've gotten so much from all the quiet and inward focus.
That being said, I do feel the need to have some kind of community here if we plan to stay on another year. Scott and I talked about starting a Meetup on Cape Cod in order to find like-minded friends. It's not easy to be in a new place without a network of friends and family already in place during a pandemic. A wild Saturday night is hanging out with Scott's 97-year-old mom in Sandwich. I actually love it. She really peps up when we arrive and I always appreciate the conversations we have over dinner when we visit once or twice a week.
We are social creatures who create our lives and the purposes of our lives through our interactions. It's really not easy to have that be almost non-existent. I can tell, as the winter starts to thaw and spring emerges, I'm going to have to venture out, with a mask of course, and find my tribe here. I have faith that I will and that the sense of time I've lost and the connections I've missed will be replaced by longer, warmer days and time outside with people I have yet to meet. I've sensed soon-to-be friends so close that I'm sure we've crossed paths on my walks. I also sense that summer will be about car-travel and camping and being active again.
Scott just said, "Let's go for a drive up to Provincetown and get a cup smokey Haddock chowder and a drink." Why not, I think. It's one thing we can do here and the outing is sure to shake up these dark feelings and add a bit of flavor and excitement to an otherwise moonless night.
No comments:
Post a Comment