How are you all doing out there? How are you feeling? Are you getting the support you need in these uncertain times?
Making it through this difficult time would not be easy without my support groups. I meet my counselor regularly and I'm also part of a meditation group and a shaman drum circle. On top of that, I run Seattle Psychic Institute with my boyfriend and I do reading/healing trades with several psychics. I also find time for a regular meditation and yoga practice and take a walk each day. These things keep me sane.
Here's a little video I made down on Jamestown Beach, near where I live, about finding support with a healing circle:
I spend a lot of time alone out here and I'm processing very intense energy. Each night when I go to sleep, I am aware that I'm downloading lots of new information. I feel very connected to the Native energy out here and the wild animals, but if I did not have the support of my regular healing groups, it would be hard to process all that new information on my own.
I really believe we are all going through a new paradigm shift. We are moving into a new way of being on the Earth. We have all been living our lives in a certain way and gotten used to certain things and now we are moving into a very new way of being in the world.
This will take some adjusting. Getting support from my healing circles helps me realize that I'm not alone in this process. Also, when I can meditate or drum or do healing work with others, the energy is much stronger. I'm able to feel a bigger force at work and this carries me. We are never alone really. We are all interconnected. We have the help of friends in circles and also help from a higher source and other spirits when we tune in.
It doesn't matter if you are in a mediation, drumming, prayer, yoga, tai chi, qi gong, or psychic healing circle, all are helpful in connecting you and supporting you as we move through this shift that is happening right now on the planet.
Do you have any circles that are supporting you right now?
Wow, so many emotions coming out now. Do you feel that? It's an Earthling thing.
Every little word feels likes it's charged with so much emotion. The world is a bundle of emotions right now. We are ALL processing so much.
I'm grateful for each and every one of you. ALL of you are heroes just for going through this. From the doctors and nurses who are on the front lines, to the people all alone in quarantine with no family around, to the person who has a loved one in the hospital, to the person who has just lost their job or home, to the people who are sick and struggling for their lives.
ALL OF US ARE IN THIS TOGETHER.
If you are feeling lots of emotions today or feeling alone, this little video I made today may help:
You might think only a few people are affected by this. I don't believe that. We are all affected in one way or another by what's going on. Life will never be the same after this.
Today, I was feeling rather emotional. I've been pretty grounded, but I got caught up in a swirl of emotion. It was a feeling of unsettledness. I envied people in quarantine with their lover or their family. How lucky you are to have your lover or family with you. How lucky! Hold them close.
I'm out here without my boyfriend and who knows how long I'll be out here without him. It's not easy to be alone when things are so uncertain. That's also the heroes journey. We come into this world alone and we die alone. If you can learn to be alone in the midst of all of this, you are my hero and I SEE you!
Actually, each one of us is on the hero's path for just being alive on the EARTH! It is not easy to be a human being. We go through sooo much in one lifetime. There are deaths and divorces and losses and pain and disease and uncertainty and natural disasters and war and...the list goes on. Every one of us has been touched by some kind of trauma. Every single one of us.
So if you think one person's got it easy and another's got it hard, think again! You are looking from the outside at a person. You are NOT that person and you have no idea what they are going through.
So have some COMPASSION for each and every Earthling. Especially NOW when we are all going through this.
Today I realized that I had to just GET OUTSIDE again. It's what grounds me and brings me back into connection with the planet and what it means to be here and connected to all things.
The streets out here where I live were deserted. It was like a ghost town. Then, suddenly, out of nowhere came a car driving at 40 miles an hour down the residential street I had just turned down. She was driving so close to my bumper that I thought she might hit me. Her face looked angry. I thought about pulling over, but I was almost to one of two parking spots in front of the beach, so I just kept driving and rolled into a spot. She took the other spot and got out of her car and gave me a death glare. If looks could kill I'd be dead.
I stayed in my car as she got out. I watched her walk with a bit of a limp. It seemed like she was carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders. At first I felt angry that she had spewed her anger out on a stranger. What was wrong with her? I came to the beach to be in peace and I felt upset.
As I walked down the beach, one of the few places we are still allowed to walk, I was able to release some of that anger. I had no idea what this woman was carrying. What if her husband had the Coronavirus? What if she was alone and couldn't take it anymore (I could relate to that somewhat)? What if she had just had a fight? What if she had just found out she lost her job? What if she didn't know how she was going to make ends meet?
Suddenly I began to feel compassion. I began to forgive myself too for being upset. I let it all wash off me. I let the waves come and take those emotions and thoughts out to sea. I then filled that empty space with compassion for myself first and then for this woman.
It was a stormy day on the beach. It was dark and cloudy and cold and a bit ominous. There was a thickness in the air. It was hard to see far out in the distance, like driving through a fog. It's that feeling of not seeing where you're going but trusting you'll eventually get there, wherever there is.
It was starting to get darker and I looked out across the water and could see the light house at the end of Dungeness Spit. The Spit is closed to the public, but the light at the end was still blinking. I stared at it through the dark clouds and at that one little spot of light and it brought me hope.
Wherever there is darkness, there is also light. Have compassion for each person out there. You have no idea about what they are going through. Have compassion for yourself for all the emotions you may be feeling. We WILL get through this and be stronger for it. You are all heroes just for going through this.
I was alone in the house organizing a few of my boxes of things, when everything went dark and silent. I stepped out of the bedroom and felt along the wall to the living room where I knew I had a candle and lighter. The wind was howling outside and it must have blown the power out. I stepped out on the deck and could see swirls of snow spin on the golf course like mini tornadoes. I was aware that it was getting colder inside the house. I found other candles and lit them. Eventually, I found a flashlight.
The strangest thing was that as I was going through a box of my writing, I found a loose piece of paper with a dream written on it about the end of the world. Every night I've been dreaming these dreams again. I see buildings falling down and water flooding streets. Somehow I'm able to just observe it all, as if I'm watching a movie. I see it happening, but I'm strangely not affected by it. Instead of jumping into the swirl of chaos and panic with everyone else, I stand a distance back and observe. Somehow, in my observing of the chaos, I get answers and solutions, but they hard to put into words because they come from the dream realm.
I know that I'm meant to be out here. In the dark last night, I felt I should be scared, but I wasn't. Instead, I felt a kind of returning. We have lost connection to the darkness. We depend so much on light. Without electricity to fuel our devices and appliances, we are lost.
In the darkness, with just a candle, I felt a deep connection to the wild world outside. Just before dawn, before the power went out, five deer walked in a single-file line past my bedroom window. They seemed to glide with extreme grace, ears twitching with alertness.
These animals bring me to the answers. This is native land. What's the point of being out here if I don't take time to tune in.
I could not walk yesterday in the blizzard-like winds. I watched the snow rapidly accumulate outside the living room window. By the late afternoon, the snow was blowing sideways towards the window and then the wind would shift and it would blow in another direction. After the power went out, I gathered candles, a flash light, warm clothes, a down comforter and hunkered down in the living room near the gas fireplace.
Around 11pm, the power was restored and I returned to the bedroom.
I awoke when light began to stream in through the blinds. It was quiet outside. I did not hear wind. I got up and made myself some tea and returned to the bedroom to get dressed. I bundled up in a long down jacket, scarf, hat and gloves before leaving the house.
I walked along the property line of Graysmarsh farm towards Graysmarsh Beach. All of a sudden I began to hear trumpets. I thought I was going crazy. The sun was hitting the snow and making everything extremely bright. Through a gap in the trees that created a boundary around the farm, I saw huge white swans, that I later learned were trumpeter swans, flying in circles above the fields of snow on the farm. They literally sounded like trumpets.
It was beautiful and heavenly. The image of huge white swans above bright, white snow making the most angelic sound touched me to my core and opened my heart. I don't know the language of these animals I see, but I often times I feel like I do. They all call me to slow down and tune in. Maybe that is the answer.
People talk of darkness and it is there. I don't watch the news out here and I've stopped Facebook for awhile. I want my media to come from nature. It's been speaking for a long time.
I feel every moment I'm able to step lightly on the Earth and listen, it's another moment of awakening to a world that has always been there for us and only asks us to listen.
