Seattle Girl on Cape Cod: Nothing to Fear

"Storms don't come teach us painful lessons rather they were meant to wash us clean."—Sharon L. Alder

 

Dear fellow Earthlings, 

So much is going on in the world and I have recently received a strong call to go off Facebook and get off social media. I don't watch news, I don't interact with what is going on in current events. I follow my intuition and my intuition told me to go 'offline.' The only thing I keep here is my blog. 

The Earth and the beings living upon the Earth are going through a massive transformation. The way we do things is changing. The old systems are crumbling and as this happens, my guides have let me know that SELF CARE is of UTMOST importance right now. Being very aware of how I spend my time and how I spend my energy is going to be important in the coming months. 

At night, I know I am doing work. I can't explain exactly. When I wake up, I usually can't remember much, but I know I am working on the astral plane for the good of others.

Sometimes this work is heavy and it leaves me feeling tired or overwhelmed and even lethargic on the physical plane. I get irritated easy and find there is no time for things anymore. It feels like there is so much to do in the material world, but I can't get a grasp on all of it.

This tells me that my mind is occupied with more things than I know. Perhaps my storage is full and I need to delete some files. 

I channel and get messages. I am an intuit and I do psychic readings for people. I have done this work for a long time. The veil between this world and the non-physical world is very thin and if you are tuned in, you are aware of how close it is.

Humans fear death, but life and death are really the same thing: one is physical and one is non-physical. The reason it is frightening is because we give so much value to the material world. If humans gave more value to the non-physical world, or the spirit/spiritual world, they would realize that there really is NOTHING to fear. 

Nature is the bridge between the physical and non-physical worlds. Nature has its own language that is not made of words. It speaks all the time and gives messages and signs and answers in every single moment that you tune yourself to her.

When you go out in nature, slow down.

Walk slow and witness each thing you see, hear, taste, touch and smell. Really sink in!

On Saturday, I woke up rather early. Scott wanted to sleep in because he had just returned from a ski trip to Vermont with the company he works for and was tired.

I got a strong feeling to get outside and head to Wing Island in Brewster, Cape Cod. It's a small, sandy island behind the Natural History Museum that is accessible by a boardwalk. I was the only car in the parking lot when I got there at 9am.

Nature responded to me immediately. Just near the parking lot was another trail I had not ventured down yet. I decided to explore it a little. As I walked through the morning sun, hundreds of birds with various calls sang their songs. It was so enchanting. Each one an integral part of Nature's choir. There were chickadees, red cardinals, blue jays, morning doves and birds I could not identify. 

I stood there letting the sun soak through me from head to toe and listened to this music.

I must have stood there for a good 10 minutes. I wanted to venture further, but snow and ice covered the trail further down and I had slightly re-sprained my ankle and was recovering again and didn't want to chance it. I walked back to the parking lot and headed to Wing Island.

I walked over a two-plank boardwalk through the marsh. Tall common reeds flanked my path. I felt a kind of ecstasy as I walked across the open marsh. Eventually the path opened to Cape Cod Bay at low tide. I walked far out on the sand flats. I stopped often and basked in the sun and let it fill me up, like drinking from a tall glass of clean water. It was a reminder to return to Nature for sustenance whenever I felt overwhelmed.

Fast forward 6 days and it's now March 12th. I started this post on March 6th. So much has happened in that short span of time. I got SUCKED into the physical plane and all the drama there. The condo where I live is in a battle with board members (seems appropriate since the rest of the world is in a battle too. It's like the macro and micro have lined up). Anyway, a certain board member insists on bulldozing over anyone who steps up or speaks up. I have had trouble with bullies in my life. I don't often stand up to them and over the past 6 days or so, I've decided to stand up. This has caused one of our condo members to become aggressive. There are several unit owners who have recognized and experienced that this is NOT good energy, so we've stood up together. I had a confrontation with that board member on Thursday that sucked all the energy right out of me. She was relentless. 

I'm kinda done with narcissists and bullies. We are in a world where I feel they are all rearing their heads and insisting on their ways, but the world is changing at an intense speed and there is no room for that kind of energy anymore. Anyway, I got a strong sign to get out of my condo for awhile and go on a STAY CATION. It's the end of my college quarter and I needed a quiet place to tune in, finish my work and just rest. 

I asked myself where I was meant to be and I got Eastham, on the lower Cape. This is my old stomping grounds. It's where I lived with Scott for 8 months when we first came to Cape Cod. I didn't have any friends here then nor a car. Although I desperately wanted a friend, I was able to tune in very deeply to nature and now I view that time as a sort of 'awakening' for myself on a deep level. The lower Cape is WILD. I'd often walk to First Encounter Beach and foxes would walk along side me. Once a coyote stood in the middle of the road. Hawks and osprey fly overhead and the birds are in abundance.

I rented a small cottage on Minister Pond. 

When I arrived to this oasis, there was a goodie bag on the table that read "Welcome back to Eastham Katherine!" It was like a warm hug. My entire body began to RELAX. I had stopped by the store and gotten food for the weekend. I had planned to stay here alone to get all my college work done, but Scott will come on Sunday to enjoy,

Right now the wind is HOWLING outside. It's Nature's way of clearing the air. When I drove out here on Friday at around 4, the sun was high in the sky and Tom Petty was playing on the radio singing "I'm FREE....FREE FALLING!" And I remembered that feeling again. I remembered that girl who likes to MOVE and flow and listen. The one who talks to red cardinals and every cat she sees and looks for crocuses and signs of spring. 

Yes, when I go inside, when I step back into Nature and pull myself away from the drama on the physical plane, I realize that it is all just WIND. Right now that wind is shaking the door in its frame. It sounds like someone is trying to open the door, but it is all just a bunch of AIR. If I can think of things in this way, I feel okay.

 I realize that while the wind seems fierce and relentless, there is always a calm after the storm and maybe that storm is necessary to shake things out of their stagnation. Maybe we all need a little shaking up! Maybe this storm is calling me to not run and hide, but to face what's in front of me, be it wind at my door or a menacing woman at my door. Maybe they are both the same and have just taken on a different forms?

Anyway, I've taken a break from my college grading to finish this post. I have to believe that it will all work out. That all things eventually do work out as they are supposed to. 

For now, I crave that quiet, introspective time alone. Here I am during a HUGE STORM out in the woods of Cape Cod alone and there's absolutely nothing to fear.

.

The Spaces Between Doing and Being

Hello fellow Earthlings,

I woke up this morning with the awareness that the Earth was covered in a blanket of snow. Everything on the Earth was very still. I couldn't see it, but I could sense it and I knew. I walked through the dark hallway to the living room and pulled open the blinds that confirmed my thoughts. A deer stood there in the snow staring at me. They seem to come all the time now and very close to the house. We locked eyes for what seemed like a few minutes before it began munching on grass that poked through the snow. Then, all of a sudden, as if it had been called by something in the wind, it turned and walked across the golf course leaving fresh hoof prints in the otherwise untouched blanket of white. It didn't walk in a straight line. It created a curvy pathway back to the bushes on the edge of the golf course. The curves were perfectly symmetrical, almost as if the snow was cut with a cookie cutter of waves. As the morning moved along, those hoof prints became deep grooves that left a mark. It was just one squiggle on a blank page of white. It was an invitation to pause before I began to write.

And it seemed like every time I wanted to write, the moment pulled me in again.

It's now evening. I fired up the sauna on the deck. When I plug it in, lights and music come on. I waited until it reached 105 degrees before I got in. I sat in there and drank lemon water and journaled. What a luxury to be out here alone to write and prepare my online class for the college. How fortunate to have this blank canvas to create. I breathed in the dry cedar and let it warm me to the bone. After an hour I came out and my deer friend was sitting on a snowy hill in the dark, legs gently tucked under her, staring at me through soft snowflakes that swirled around before they found a suitable place to land.

I turned off the sauna. One button shuts off the whole machine, heat music, lights and all. It was me and the deer in the dark. I started to feel a chill enter my body standing there now with snow all around and I hurried inside to warm up. I immediately went and showered and pulled on a pair of sweats, wool socks, a t-shirt, cashmere sweater and and my favorite lambswool scarf that I got on a trip to New Zealand a few years ago.

Earlier in the day,  I walked out to Graysmarsh Beach to the eagle totem pole and walked further out on to the frigid beach with blue glacier-like water. It was so cold that even the seagulls took shelter on a nearby neighborhood street. I stared out past the water to the snowy banks of land dotted with houses that were also covered in snow. So quiet. I could smell cedar burning in wood stoves and it warmed me inside to know that people were snug in their own spaces.

On the way back, a few cars wandered down Woodcock Road. The roads were pretty clear and I imagined people were going about their day regardless of the weather conditions. I suppose I could have scraped the snow from my car and made it down to the post office to send off some bills and letters, but I felt like everything on the planet was calling me to stop. So I did.

I keep trying to understand what I am meant to do. I keep trying to grab a hold of a thread or a clue or a sign. I created a list to keep me on task, but the moments unfold on their own. If everything is planned, I miss what's right here.

Right.
Here.

I did knock some things off that list. I prepared my online class, did a load of laundry, emailed a few people. But between each task, there's a huge pause. Even typing these words feels a bit like wading through molasses. Even if I want my fingers to flutter across the keys, they don't. Maybe I meant to find the answers in the spaces between doing and being.

Maui Musings Day 45: A Message for our Planet

Good evening fellow Earthlings,

I have been living out here below Haleakala, fire chakra of the planet, for 45 days. Yes, I can't believe it, but it has been THAT long! The messages that have come through the land are so very powerful. I can't even begin to put them into words, but I will do my best. If you are here reading this now, know that there is a reason. You are here to raise the vibration of the planet. You are here to live your life at the highest possible frequency of LOVE. So many people talk about it, but there is a reason why. It is true.

I get that you may be saying, "Don't give me any of that new-age bullshit. The world is going to hell in a hand basket and there's nothing we can do about it. People are dying and our government is messed up, so go screw yourself."

Okay, okay well, you can stop reading if you want and just live there, in that state. It's up to you. I've been there. I have lived in that state of "hell on earth" where negativity was my best friend.  It was exhausting. It was like I was fighting to keep the negativity alive. It was like swimming up stream. I've lived in intense anger and pain. I've felt deep sorrow and outrage with what is happening in the world. Trust me, when someone you love is suddenly gone, you don't feel like kissing people and opening your heart. You feel OUTRAGE. This is a completely normal response. You'd be nuts if you DIDN'T feel this. When my husband walked out on me, I felt like I'd been shot in the chest. I felt unbearable anger which was really just a mask for deep, deep pain.

Right now you may feel that the world is in a state of chaos. We have shootings, we are at odds politically and spiritually with one another, there are wars, relationships are falling apart, there is darkness, death, disease, ill will. The instant access to Facebook and mass media and all the news can make us feel depressed, hopeless, useless, worried, fearful or lost.

This is all happening for a reason.

The ways in which we have existed up until now no longer serve us or the planet. 

In our human minds, it may seem impossible to wrap our heads around the solution, but the solution is right here. It has always been RIGHT HERE!

"Right where?" I hear you saying,  "I'm sitting here and I see/feel NOTHING good."

Are you breathing? Do you have food? Do you have shelter? Do you have a pet, a friend, family or a significant other? Do you have a toilet and a shower? Well, that's a start. That's all good.

Did you know that what you do RIGHT NOW, even if it seems insignificant, has tremendous power. You are an energetic being. The energy you give and receive creates your reality. What reality are you living in right now? Is it the life you want for yourself and all beings? 

If your world is covered in a state of despair, anger or hate, know that love is always there below the surface. Having the intention of tapping into that love is enough. You don't have to feel it. Just have the intention that you want to tap into it.

I could not feel any love at all when my husband left. I felt extreme pain. The pain was so intense that I had trouble breathing. Yes, you can die from a broken heart. What saved me? It was my intention to heal. THAT is it. I was completely committed to healing. I believed love was possible. I made a promise to love myself deeply. I made a promise to myself to feel everything I was feeling. I believed in love and I believed, beneath all the surface chaos, love was there.

Sometimes we have to go through states of deep negativity and despair in order to see that love. I feel like this is a shedding of the old. We are are healing in order to shift into the new. Are you open to healing and letting go of old patterns? Are you open to feeling love?

I'm living out here in the land of ALOHA. The Hawaiians and the people here believe in the power of love. It is how they live. They live aloha and even BREATHE aloha. I have learned so much from this. 

Being out here in the middle of the ocean on islands that are farthest from any land mass in a place that bases everything on this ALOHA energy is pretty transformative. 

The land SPEAKS here. The people are part of the land. 

Actually, the earth speaks everywhere, but it REALLY speaks here. 

When I walk the grounds here everyday, I automatically place my hand over my heart. I keep feeling my heart open. The love is so strong that it makes me touch this area. Whatever I am doing, the land keeps calling me to listen and love. Whenever fear crops up, I'm called again and again to lay that fear down and let love in.

Yesterday, after I dropped my boyfriend off at the airport for his flight back to Seattle, I felt a pull to get in the ocean. I drove to a beach near the airport and immediately found myself swimming with turtles. Their energy was so ancient, yet gentle. And when I put my head under the ocean, I could hear the call of humpback whales. 

I couldn't understand this language, but my heart understood it. My heart understands. So I have decided not to lead with my head anymore. I am being guided by my heart. This is the part that is opening. This is the new world we are entering.

I see a world that is lead by the passion of our hearts, not the will of our minds. I keep hearing that everything is as it is meant to be. There is nothing to do but follow our hearts deeply. If we deny our hearts and forget to listen to them, we will suffer greatly. If we get too caught up in what is going on OUTSIDE of our own beings, if we leave our heart space and get caught up in trying to solve everything "out there," we will be lost.

The heart is our compass. It knows the way and has ALWAYS known the way. Let go and listen. This is what I keep getting. LET GO. If every single one of us is tuned in and following what the heart wants, imagine the world we'd have! 

Don't fall into despair, keep opening up your heart. Open it all the way. Cry, laugh, scream, feel. Let it out! And when you think it's as opened as it can go, open it a little more! Love yourself very deeply in this process. It's a very deep opening. All of us are in it whether we choose to be or not. All of us are moving towards this love.

John Lennon, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., Nelson Mandela, Gandhi, Mother Theresa and so many others lived from this love and followed deeply what their hearts called for them to do. Were they too idealistic? I believe they are no different from you or me. No different. The only difference is that they put full faith in their hearts. They were called to do something that might have seemed illogical to the rest of the world, and they did it. THAT IS THE ONLY DIFFERENCE.

So what is the message for our planet and for our lives on earth? Here's the message I get from listening for 45 days:

"Go into your heart, listen to what it calls you to do. Let go of all the other voices that mix you up or move you away from being in this space. Let go of what others might say or how you might look. If it is coming from a place of the heart, it will always be right. When you operate from your heart space, you connect with all other heart spaces. This force of love is so strong that it changes the appearance of water molecules and it will certainly shift our planet. This earth, which has sustained us all of our lives, is speaking to us every moment. It speaks the language of love. Move through the pain and unpleasantness. Sit with it. Be with it. Underneath it all is an enormous wellspring of love."

 From where I sit now, I see this clearly. I hear that it will be okay. You will be okay. We are on the path, all of us. Keep going. I promise you, love is there.