Seattle Girl on Cape Cod: Are you spiraling up or down?

"The spiral is a spiritualized circle. In the spiral form, the circle, uncoiled, has ceased to be vicious; it has been set free."—Vladimir Nabokov

Dear fellow Earthlings,

The time is crucial now. We must see things in a new light or risk spiraling downward. If we are moving in vicious cycles or spiraling out of control, we've lost connection to the very core of who we are and what we are capable of.

From the perspective of the news, social media and all things that come through to us on SCREENS, the world appears to be spiraling downward again. We haven't missed a beat. We've gone from a global pandemic to a possible WWIII. But it only takes one change in perspective, one step off that merry-go-round to see from a different vantage point. We are energetic beings first and foremost. Nothing is SOLID in the world we live in. We are connected to everything that exists, from the tiny shell to the great OCEAN and all her life forms.

I'm stepping away from news and social media. I will keep writing here and post these musings online and in other places. It's time to step up, to spiral UP!

This is not a suggestion, it's a call and if you are reading this, keep reading. I'll be adding more every Friday.

If we are energetic beings capable of bringing anything forward into the world that we think, feel, or do, then every action and thought we have has serious repercussions. 

It's like casting a stone into the a calm lake and seeing the ripple effects of your actions. Thoughts also become things. What thoughts are you having, sharing, viewing, forming opinions about and believing. You may think it doesn't matter. In fact, it matters most. It's what causes a world to spiral out of control or free itself from incessant barrage of information that isn't even really 'our own' information (meaning the information that comes from within).  This is having detrimental effects on people's health, sense of safety and wellbeing. 

What is really happening on the inside of you?

Step away from all of it. Step out in nature.  Can you feel anything? Can you get a sense of yourself separate from what you are bombarded with daily? Do you take time to hear yourself and nature around you? If you do, you might be thinking, feeling and doing things completely differently than most of the world. You may be able to step out of the vicious cycle of information overload coming through screens on televisions, cell phones and other devices and feel a sense of connectedness and freedom.

One thing I've practiced that has helped tremendously is envisioning the world I'd like to live in and not accepting anything else. I envision the outcome. I see, taste, touch, smell, hear and feel this world and then find myself living in it. I don't allow for other thoughts to enter other than the ones that fit this vision. 

I teach classes on vision boarding and intuitive writing and I'm a practicing psychic and intuit. I have lived my life like this for as long as I can remember. Every vision board I've ever created has come true for me even if I have not fully understood the images that I selected and why I placed them in the particular order they ended up in.

Today, I'm being called to UNPLUG again form Facebook for a month and see where it leads me. What stations will I tune into that are on other frequencies? Is staring at a screen of images the REALITY or does reality exist when I 'put down' all that I'm fed from outside and sense what is really going on inside. 

These are thoughts to consider as I make a firm choice to SPIRAL UP!

Join me here every Friday, where thoughts become things. I will try to put up the audio of my channelings and dreams here, but have to figure out the technology, which I'm not too keen on these days.

Until then, fellow Earthlings....

Seattle Girl on Cape Cod: Disappearing ACT

 Dear fellow Earthlings,

It's been a long time. Over 10 months to be exact. I didn't think I'd disappear for so long and so much has happened in that short time. Here's a quick timeline to catch you up:

• At the end of March, Scott stopped working for his friend in Welfleet. Since then, he's worked for another company, done handyman work and worked for another friend. And is now pretty comfortable working at Thor Construction in Wellfleet, MA where he's been for awhile.
• I closed on a condo on May 3rd in Dennis, MA which is on Cape Cod.
• We immediately got down and dirty with fixing our condo up. It needed a lot of fixing. It's now looking quite nice and homey, but still isn't 100% done. Hopefully by this winter it will be almost complete. I don't want to show before and after photos until it's done. We scrubbed walls, put in wainscoting, put in new floors, baseboard, crown molding and kitchen cabinets, all new kitchen lighting, including pendant lights over the island. We still have to do kitchen countertops, new appliances and probably a bathroom remodel. We've made it nice and definitely increased the value of the place. Real estate is prime on the Cape, so it's a good place to invest.
• June & July were all about a little remodeling, but mostly enjoying the summer on Cape Cod and spending time with new friends (I'm so happy to have good friends here now!) 
• In August, I went to Seattle with Scott to reconnect with family and friends there. We had a great time and it was great weather! We stayed 5 nights on Whidbey Island with family in a gorgeous house overlooking Saratoga Passage. We also spent time in Seattle, Sequim and Port Townsend. I sprained my ankle there while out to dinner with a friend and it's taken some time to rehabilitate my ankle, but I'm getting there through Physical Therapy and I'm back to hiking 3-4 miles a day.
• September-December was about teaching fall quarter online AND enjoying my favorite season—FALL!!! I went to Mirabeau Spa in Plymouth for my birthday and got a massage and used the spa facilities. This was wonderful because our power went out at our house during a storm, but not at the spa. I got a complimentary champagne drink at the bar and ordered lunch. That night a girlfriend and I went out to dinner at The Ocean House in Dennis. It has a gorgeous view of the water and the food is delicious. I had the scallops. For my birthday weekend, we drove to Portsmouth, New Hampshire for lunch and then on to Kittery and York, Maine where we stayed a night at an amazing boutique hotel overlooking Nubble Light House. It was picturesque and perfect. We were back in time for the Salty Witches Samhain Market (A Halloween Festival) at Ritual on Cape Cod where Scott and I take and teach classes. It was fun dressing up, carving pumpkins, roasting marshmallows and enjoying the festivities.
• Our Condo had a Friendsgiving the Sunday before Thanksgiving and we all shared food together. It was really nice and then we went to Scott's mom's place for actual Thanksgiving and spent it with Scott's mom and cousin.
• For the Christmas season, we enjoyed both the Yarmouth and Dennis Christmas Stroll, tree-lighting and caroling in town. I hadn't participated in any of the strolls before and they were really fun. I also had a very interesting experience eating inside an IGLOO at the Ocean Edge Resort in Brewster. It was an all-clear dome structure equipped with a heater, blankets, cozy chairs and a drink/food menu to order from. It was really fun and festive. We had Christmas dinner and opened presents at our condo in Dennis. Scott's mom, who is almost 98, made the trip. She hasn't been out of her neighborhood in YEARS, so this was epic. On NYE we went out with friends for dinner and live music and then did count down in our own home. The next day, on January 1st, we went out to lunch with Scott's mom, brother and cousin at The Fisherman's View Restaurant in Dennis, MA. Then, on Sunday, January 2nd, I taught a VISION BOARD workshop for the New Year at Ritual. That was fun and well-attended.
• On Wednesday, January 5, Scott started to feel unwell. He tested positive for COVID and I got it right after. We are still crawling out of that hole, but felt well enough today (10 days later), to take a hike and visit Nauset Beach. This OMICRON variant is going around and is infecting everyone, regardless of vaccination status. I'm kind of glad we got it, because we overcame it and now feel stronger having been through it. It's not for the meek or weak, that's for sure, and we made sure we quarantined and stayed home.
• I'm teaching a full load online at the college now, A Level 5 ESL class and a business class. I missed two Zoom classes online last week due to COVID, but I'm up and running again and feel pretty good again.

So as you can see, I disappeared from here, but I have been pretty active in life. I feel more a part of my community here on Cape Cod. I have friends now, which makes a HUGE difference. 

While I was sick with nothing to do, I felt a strong urge to write again. I felt a strong pull to write on my blog AND finish my current book. I'm not sure how I'll do it with my busy teaching schedule, but I'm pretty determined. My goal is to write here every Friday and to write my book Thursday-Sunday, when I'm not teaching. 

I've been having really intense dreams, but when I wake up, I forget to write them down and "poof," they are gone. I feel like those dreams are are pointing out where I need to go. If I could remember them, it would help me. Also, I've been channeling quite a bit and Scott's been recording those channelings. I hope to share them here. It's a little scary to share those, as I haven't done that before, but I feel this is the year to not hold back. This is the year to allow "my full self" to come to the surface and those who like it or resonate with what I write/channel are welcome! 

What feels most true to me during this GREAT TIME OF CHANGE is to turn my mind away from mainstream news and more toward's NATURE'S NEWS. 

Today the ocean called. The Atlantic Ocean beckoned me. I wanted to go to our old stomping grounds, Nauset Beach and feel the spray of the salt water touch my face and cold wind turn my cheeks red. I wanted to touch the soft, white sand and look straight into those rolling waves. I wanted to be lifted into the air by the wind, but jumping would have to do. I skipped along the shore and laughed like a child. It was so cold, my hands went numb. I still laughed. I laughed so hard I cried and the tears almost froze right there on my face. Ahhh, to be ALIVE. What a gift it is. We don't have time for disagreements, fighting, deciding who's right or wrong. We don't have time for FEAR. We are all only here for a blip in time. Instead of tuning into people's news, I want to tune into the main SOURCE. 

I am part of the waves,

the salt air,

The children's laughter,

the wind in my hair,

I am bigger than what my body can hold

from a grain of sand

To a wave so strong,

and loud,

and powerful,

that it can and WILL

suck everything away in its wake,

In one instant

One instant

It's all we have here

Until we return to those waves.

How will you spend these fleeting instances?

By telling people what to do 

and how to think?

Will you spend it dividing yourself from others?

Will you insist, righteously, that you know all the answers?

Or will you go

with the wind

to the end

of 

time

**In the next blog post next Friday, I will share my first channeling. Stay TUNED!***

Seattle Girl on Cape Cod: Collaborating with the Unknown

"By choosing your thoughts, and by selecting which emotional currents you will release and which you will reinforce, you determine the quality of your Light. You determine the effects that you will have on others, and the nature of the experience of your life."—Gary Zukov from Seat of the Soul.

 Dear fellow Humans,

There's lots to fear in the world we live in today. There's a pandemic and people are dying.

 Or is that the unreliable narrator playing its part? Or am I the unreliable narrator?

 It's hard to distinguish fact from fiction today and everyone will tell you that what THEY believe and  follow are the FACTS without a doubt. So then others are called to question their own beliefs and facts and, since we all influence each other, we begin to FOLLOW what we are told rather than what is intrinsically true for each one of us. I can't deny what's true for you. What's true for you IS what's true for you. I'm not going to try and convince you otherwise. You have a right to believe and follow what you want to believe and follow. 

Part of why we create a story to begin with is because we are AFRAID of the unknown. Humans don't do well with what they don't know. It's easier to have a story. A story makes us feel like we know what's going on. 

The funny thing is, we've never known what will happen. NEVER. It's always been a mystery. We can't control what others will do, say or be. We only have the power to decide what we will do, say or be in this world at this moment in time.

Rather than fight the unknown and demand answers, I've found a way to collaborate with it. In fact, working with the unknown has become second nature to me. The unknown is highly intelligent and intuitive. When you are open to the unknown, amazing things happen. There's a co-creation that occurs that most often defies logic. If you are closed to it, you will only see what's in front of you or what's dished up for you to see.

In my life, there have been so many clear signs of the unknown tapping me on the shoulder and saying, "Can you hear me? I'm here. Let's create!"

When I hold tight to my old ideas or beliefs, no other energy is allowed to enter. I've basically decided on THE STORY of my life. Period. Most of the story I've created comes from past trauma or old patterns and beliefs that are no longer true. 

Examples:

"I'm poor and don't have much money."

"I'll never find a partner."

"You have to work hard for your money."

"Work is unenjoyable."

"I'll never be a home owner."

"I am not healthy."

"This has been a very hard year with no brightness anywhere."

These are messages that end with a period. There's no room for anything else to enter. It's the END of the story. 

But how about trying these instead:

"All the abundance in the world is available to me."

"There are many possible partners out there just waiting to literally bump into me."

"Work that I love flows easily into my life."

"My work is enjoyable."

"The perfect home is waiting for me and I can feel I'll have it soon."

"I'm in optimal health. I've never felt better and everyday I give my body the attention and love it needs."

"This year has had some challenges, for sure, but I still see brightness and possibility everywhere I look."

I just rewrote the STORY. Am I the unreliable narrator or am I simply collaborating with the unknown? Did you notice that the second group of statements were not definitive. They didn't have a feeling of "absoluteness" to them. They were more open and free. And maybe, to an extent, unreliable. Why? Because our PAST HISTORY, patterns and beliefs have told us that they simply CAN'T be TRUE. 

Why not try on a different HAT for size? Go out on a limb and create a new story. Collaborate with the unknown and unwritten, just to see what happens. 

Well, here's my story for an example:

I was in WA state and for months had been trying to buy a home. There was NOTHING I could afford, or so I told myself. 

"I guess I'll just be poor forever and roam from rental to rental. I'm not meant to have a home." 

A big part of me believed this story. I am attached to the wandering part of myself and LOVE it dearly, to the point of not really wanting to change the story, I guess. One day, while searching for homes on Zillow, I saw a listing for an off-season rental on Cape Cod that was extremely affordable. I hadn't considered Cape Cod. It wasn't the story I had imagined for myself. I was set on living on the Olympic Peninsula in WA State. Strangely, this rental on Cape Cod started to pull me in. I let go and I could feel myself living there and entertaining there and really loving it. I was open to a new story. I was open to ease and a different direction. All the times I visited Cape Cod with my boyfriend (his 97-year old mother and cousin live here and he grew up here) I loved it. Due to the "pandemic," I found myself teaching online, so currently, I can live anywhere. 

"But you better not uproot yourself. You better hold steady. You don't know when you'll have to go back to the classroom. It's unsafe to travel by car across the country right now. Coronavirus numbers are rising. You could get it. BE SAFE out there. Don't go out. You need to batten down the hatches and draw the shades and...and...and..." 

Who's story was this? Was it coming from FEAR or OPENNESS? Was it my story? What was I afraid of? 

When I let go, the unknown was sitting in the passenger seat right next to me saying, 

"Alright, here we go! So glad you tuned IN. You've known all along what to do. So glad you listened to your intuition. This is going to be absolutely GREAT!" 

And the next thing I knew, my boyfriend and I had secured a beautiful home on the lower Cape through the end of November. It was August when we started packing up our stuff. I'd been living in Airbnbs for the summer and uncertain of my next move and he had a short-term rental in Seattle that was ending soon. They were going to demolish his home to widen the road. Many of his carpentry jobs were coming to an end. I was about to go on a month-long break from teaching. The time was right. We put our stuff into two storage units. I sold my car. He got a camper top for his truck and we drove across the country, from WA State to Cape Cod. We stopped at a friend's cabin in Idaho and had a glorious two days swimming, eating and enjoying and then headed on the Lewis and Clark Trail to Montana where we pitched our tent at the Rusty Nail Ranch on Flathead Lake Indian Reservation. We saw bison and pronghorns and other wild animals. And behind our ranch was a shrine with 1000 buddhas. We visited there and met a woman who used to work at Boeing and also packed up all her things to work at the gift shop there. 

"I was called to come here," she said, "It didn't logically make sense, but everything lined up for me to be here." 

That's what collaborating with the unknown feels like. It doesn't logically make sense, but everything FEELS right. It all lines up and flows almost effortlessly.

We got to our home about 15 days later, having driven all the way across the country. When we first arrived, we were lost. The Lower Cape has mazes of homes down sandy paths with unknown street names. Some roads went half-way through and then ended. We found ourselves on the right road on the wrong section of it. My body immediately went to an old story, "Oh, no! It's late. We are lost. We will never find it." Scott, on the other hand, stepped outside in early September and felt the balmy, sultry air of the Lower Cape and listened to the crickets and didn't give a shit that he was lost. We had arrived! We were in paradise. He called his buddy he'd be working for (another part of the story we didn't plan or couldn't make up) who said, rather nonchalantly, "Why don't you try a different GPS. Maybe that will get you there." Within seconds, we were at our 'Downton Abbey' home and it was beyond amazing. I couldn't believe we were here!

Now, right now, as I sit here typing this, seven of the most glorious months of my life have just passed. We planned to stay here until the end of November, but it's nearly April and we are still here. Cape Cod Bay is a five minute walk down a shell-path from out home. We've witnessed spectacular sunsets almost every single night. We've kayaked and hiked and biked all over this place. We made it through the wild snow storms and have seen meteor showers from our upper deck. I can't tell you in this short blog post what we've experienced, but it's been out of this world. A dream really.

On April 1st, we have to move out. Our rental sold. We will move 10 minutes down the street to another rental near First Encounter Beach until June 19th. I was determined to live here through the summer, but it seemed nearly impossible since rent prices go up 4-10 times on Cape Cod in the summer. 

"It's impossible!" I thought. And well, we all know what happens to that story. It's over!

But, since I've been in the habit of keeping the door open with the unknown and I know clearly now that I'm co-creating my reality with source/God/my higher-self, I knew on a very deep level that anything is possible. So, before I knew it, I was putting an offer on a condo near a beach in Dennis that was selling for an unbeatable price. The condo ticked all the boxes I dreamed of in a home: low mortgage, the ability to Airbnb the unit, a pool, huge storage, low HOA, close to amazing beaches, kayaking and bike paths, next to Cape Cod Center for the Arts and the oldest summer theater in the United States, coffee shops, yoga schools, and the only pet you can have is a cat. The only pet I've ever wanted is a cat and recently I've REALLY wanted one.

So, if all goes through smoothly, we close on our new condo on Cape Cod on May 3rd. We will fix it up while we are living in our rental and make it our own. We may Airbnb it in the summers? Who knows? But we will have a place to live in for a good price in the summer and beyond
on Cape Cod and it is OURS!!! 

I didn't make this story up. This is my life. The only thing I did was decide to open and collaborate with the unknown. Life is always an unreliable narrator, but you get to intend on where you want the story to go. What words are you telling yourself about YOUR LIFE and LIFE AROUND YOU. Is that an old story? Is that your story even, or one you've been fed? Just something to consider.

Seattle Girl on Cape Cod: Widening the Lens and Getting a Bigger Perspective

 

Hello fellow Earthlings,

I love taking photos on my walks. Sometimes I'm so overwhelmed with joy and delight in what I am seeing and witnessing that I want to capture it all, but it's too enormous.

While I can Zoom in on a tree's branches covered with white snow and capture how things look up close, I realize that this tree also holds many different kinds of birds in its branches. There are small berries and leaves and a big wide trunk with roots that go deep down into several layers of earth and then there's an entire underworld happening there that I can't capture or even begin to know about. So I'm just getting one small perspective of this tree.

Whatever I see is only part of the bigger picture. 

When I step outside into nature, I'm also part of this picture. I'm part of the bay with the tide receding, the bright sun overhead, the snow melting on the rocks, the razor clam shells, the bright green seaweed. 

I'm every little tiny grain of sand.

I'm that sun that lights up the entire sky. The same one that sinks below the horizon like a huge, orange liquid ball of fire.

From the micro to the macro, I'm part of it.

When I zoom my lens out far, I get the entire scene, but it still doesn't do justice to what I'm seeing, smelling, hearing, tasting, touching and feeling. 

I can't capture the sound of the waves or the taste of salt on my lips or the frozen feeling of my feet walking through soft snow or the smell of cedar burning in wood stoves in houses on the bluff.

These are all pieces of the picture. 

Out here on Cape Cod, the weather can change in an instant. We can go from a sunny 55 degree day in the winter to a frozen 28 degree day with wind gusts up to 70 miles per hour. You just never know out here. 

My emotions and feelings are a bit like the weather. Something can set me off and I feel myself reeling for a while. The funny thing is that when I witness the shift in weather on my walks, I'm able to recognize it simply as a change in weather.

Somehow emotions are bit trickier. It seems that everyone's emotions are on high these days. One little bit of information from a friend or loved one or a snippet of news from social media can set me off down a rabbit hole of confusion, anger or disbelief. 

Have you ever found yourself looking at one thing online and then next thing you know you've followed the information trail down into a hole that is a bottomless pit of information, opinions, ideas, thoughts, angry words or convincing arguments? It's pretty easy to do these days. 

Most of the information out there feels like it's meant to distract and divide people.

These days, when I feel that chaotic feeling creeping in from online information overload, I literally shut off every single device in the middle of whatever I'm doing and head out into nature. I'm able to walk away and leave my work for an hour or so because I work from home and I set the hours. This is one of the silver linings of my online job.

The other silver lining is being able to live out here on Cape Cod, out in the middle of the ocean, where nature literally calls me outside constantly. 

The bigger perspective is right out my front door right now. We don't have street lights out here, so millions of stars and the Milky Way are often visible on a clear night. Sometimes, while working, I hear an owl or a coyote and go up to the upper deck to listen. Sometimes the moon lights up our entire master bedroom on the second floor or the wind howls and shakes the windows in their frames or we wake up to snow gently falling all around us. 

The bigger perspective is always right there and it's not an accident that I've put myself  smack dab in the middle of Nature, where it's hard not to see it. 

The information highway comes to me through a tiny screen on either my phone or computer. It comes in pixels that join together to create this virtual reality.

Outside, the lens is wide. With each step I take outside my front door, I feel a release of all the heavy baggage that has somehow taken up space in my being. 

All of it leaves me instantly when I step outside. It's the one thing that is keeping me sane these days. A call and response conversation with a bright red cardinal high up on a tree branch is more real for me than talking into a computer with tiny squares of pixeled people.

I miss deep connections with people out here. I really do. I have my boyfriend and a few friends, but I miss face to face conversations and looking directly into people's eyes. I miss hugs and body language and laughter and sitting in the same room with people breathing. 

I get a sense of that when I walk outside amongst people, but it's not the same as sitting in a live circle with like-minded souls. 

Inside millions of rooms around the world people communicate with each other virtually. This is both amazing and disturbing at the same time. These quick, short words we type to each other don't tell the full story. The lens is too close. I can't see the full picture. 

I can't hear the inflection in your voice, 

Or see your eyes,

Or feel your touch,

Or really know what's going on inside. 

For now, nature will have to do until I can really experience YOU.

Seattle Girl on Cape Cod: Losing Sense of Time

 Hello fellow Earthlings,

It's Friday, but seriously, who is keeping track? Someone out there is, probably? I work from home (I'm a college teacher) and my schedule is muddled by the fact that there aren't any events anymore to punctuate my time. I hate to admit that I'm still in my pajamas at 2:41pm. There's no getting dressed up, defrosting the car, packing a lunch and driving through traffic to work anymore, so what's the point. In fact, I sold my car, so I only travel on foot or bicycle now. 

There aren't many stores near my house, so yesterday I walked to the post office and got my mail, and then wandered into a tiny convenience store next to the post office and bought Drano, toothpaste, spaghetti sauce and glue sticks (for an art project). This was huge. But it got even better...

Near the gas station, there's one and only ONE boutique/art shop near my house called ARTichoke. I love it. They have tarot cards, crystals, incense, art, soap, bath salts clothes, kombucha, chocolate, jewelry, etc. I wandered around looking at everything. The whole place felt like a fantasy world of delight. When there's not much to stimulate the senses anymore, it doesn't take much. 

I ended up leaving the shop with two crystals (rose quartz and aventurine), pomegranate lip balm, rose water from Italy, bath salts with essential oils, peppermint chocolate and a kombucha. Bliss!

I have to say, however, today wasn't quite as productive. It comes in waves for me. I always have great intentions when I start my day. Scott is the first to get up. He has to be at the job site at 9am. I usually wake up to the sound of him making coffee and singing. The smell of coffee and breakfast usually lures me downstairs. We try to eat together before he leaves and then the silence of the house sometimes leaves me yearning for connection. I don't have any friends here, so social media has become a substitute for social life. The problem with the internet is that I find myself being led down rabbit holes of information without realizing how much time has passed. In a normal world, I'd call up a friend to go on a walk or out to dinner. But we aren't living in a normal world anymore. Somehow I managed to save the day by doing four hours of work for my college job. I even squeezed in a tiny walk to the beach before the sun went down.

Truthfully, the long winter months on the East Coast are giving me a bit of cabin fever.  While everyone in Seattle is elated about the snow coming tonight, ours has been on the ground for a week. It was exciting at first, but I can see why people here don't do snow dances. It's a given there will be snow and most likely A LOT of it. 

On my walk yesterday, I felt so lonely that I started communicating with a male cardinal. It was call and response. He'd call and I'd respond. It went on for several minutes and finally I turned to continue my walk. I will say, it was a magical moment to actually be talking to an animal and have it hear me. It was a being besides Scott who I was communicating with in person. That does count for something. 

This post sounds a bit sad. But truthfully, the tuning in part has been very rewarding and I've gotten so much from all the quiet and inward focus.

That being said,  I do feel the need to have some kind of community here if we plan to stay on another year. Scott and I talked about starting a Meetup on Cape Cod in order to find like-minded friends. It's not easy to be in a new place without a network of friends and family already in place during a pandemic. A wild Saturday night is hanging out with Scott's 97-year-old mom in Sandwich. I actually love it. She really peps up when we arrive and I always appreciate the conversations we have over dinner when we visit once or twice a week.

We are social creatures who create our lives and the purposes of our lives through our interactions. It's really not easy to have that be almost non-existent. I can tell, as the winter starts to thaw and spring emerges, I'm going to have to venture out, with a mask of course, and find my tribe here. I have faith that I will and that the sense of time I've lost and the connections I've missed will be replaced by longer, warmer days and time outside with people I have yet to meet. I've sensed soon-to-be friends so close that I'm sure we've crossed paths on my walks. I also sense that summer will be about car-travel and camping and being active again.

Scott  just said, "Let's go for a drive up to Provincetown and get a cup smokey Haddock chowder and a drink." Why not, I think. It's one thing we can do here and the outing is sure to shake up these dark feelings and add a bit of flavor and excitement to an otherwise moonless night.

Seattle Girl on Cape Cod: It's all Smoke and Mirrors

It's All Smoke and Mirrors

It's all smoke and mirrors.

We've come to worship technology

And find our answers on screens.

Main-stream media has become our God.

How did you, who I love,

Become a bunch of pixels in a tiny square?

I can't feel your embrace,

Nor hear your heart beating.

So, without you here

I turn my face to the ocean

Where the wind whispers in my ear.

I don't hear words, but I understand.

When I step outside I'm home. 

A red cardinal in bamboo,

Or a woodpecker perched on a naked branch

Surrounded by red winter berries

Leads me further down the the path

Nature is my altar now. 

I come to the place where the land stops

And the sea begins

The sun fills me up from head to toe

As I sink down into the golden grains below me

My feet move without thought

My heart in my chest 

Is a compass

To the Unknown

Earth's sacred garden

Holds the key

In an oyster shell

Have you found the treasure yet?

Seattle Girl On Cape Cod: Blizzard on the Beach

 
"Lighten up while you still can, don't even try to understand, just find a place to make your stand and take it easy."—Jackson Browne

Well, I kinda understand why people head South for the winter. Today we had blizzard-like weather on the beach. I thought about going for a walk with Scott out in it. He hasn't worked for two days due to the weather. Most of his jobs in his friend's contracting business are outside. 

So, we put on 4-5 layers this afternoon—3 pairs of pants/long underwear, two shirts and a sweater, ski pants/jackets, gloves, hat(s), and face masks in preparation for heading out into the cold. In the end, my eyes were the only things you could see. 

The roads had been salted, so the snow hadn't accumulated on the streets as we drove to Nauset Beach on the Atlantic Ocean. I thought, We'll just go for a little walk down the beach.

With the temperatures dipping down into the low teens and 30-40 mile gusts of wind, that walk didn't last long. We tried to drive up to Wellfleet to see the town in white, but it was seriously getting blizzard-like out there so we went home. 

Well, we signed up for this. We decided we wanted A Year on Cape Cod. Well, almost a year. We are here at least until June 19th, if not longer. 

But today...well today I was not prepared for a blizzard on the beach.

How many people would choose that as a vacation destination?

This isn't a vacation, though. This is our life. We are Cape Codders, for now.

Somehow the snow and wind, which forced us to be inside, made me realize just how isolated I am out here. When I'm out in nature, I feel so connected. When I can't get out in it and am home-bound, it's hard to feel connected. 

I have NOT been following the news lately and have not been surfing the internet much. I have enjoyed lots of meditation, rest, writing, teaching, etc. I've enjoyed tuning in. But I do miss friends and family.

Given our current weather conditions today, I thought, just for a few moments, maybe I'll run away to Florida and see my family and friends down there. It's 70 degrees in the daytime. 

Maybe I will or maybe I won't go?

Yes, sometimes life can feel cold, lonely, and isolating. But that's life!

'Blizzard on the Beach' is the perfect backdrop for that. It's as good a backdrop as any and the wildness of it has its own intrigue.

After all, life has its seasons and truthfully, I am a girl who appreciates seasons. I love long summers that seem to hold on until late September, fall (oh, my favorite!) when the leaves start to turn and everything, especially in New England, turns to fiery oranges, reds and yellows. I love the first snow and decorating for the season and getting in the holiday spirit. 

But there's this time, between mid-January to March that seems like it will never end. In Seattle, it's WET and dreary with occasional sun breaks. Here in Massachusetts, the cold bites right through you. But on the Cape, we've been lucky. The weather dips down, but doesn't stay down thanks to the ocean which warms everything up. And man, I've soooo appreciated the SUN out here. I'm not use to all this sun, being a Seattle-girl and all. I could very-well become a sun worshiper. I could chase that sun around the globe. I need that light and warmth. I need to feel it in my bones, even if it's bitter cold outside. 

I shouldn't complain. In Bristol, Vermont, where we went to see the leaves change in the fall, it's 5 degrees Here on Cape Cod at 5:48pm on a Friday night, it's 21 degrees. I'll take 21 degrees over 5 degrees any day.

Today, after attempting our walk on Nauset Beach, we drove over to Thumpertown Beach on the bay side, near our house.  Scott and I sat in his truck staring out into the snow and icy waves. Seagulls flew sideways and the wind shook the car and blew the dry snow in swirls around the parking lot. Jackson Browne came on the radio singing his hit song, Take it Easy.

Take it easy, take it easy

Don't let the sound of your own wheels 

Drive you crazy

Lighten up while you still can

Don't even try to understand

Just find a place to make your stand

And take it easy....

In the spirit of taking it easy, Scott turned to me and said, "Maybe this would be a great day to take the kayak out!"

He was joking, of course, but it brought in a flood of memories of warm endless summer days when that now icy bay was flat, calm warm and inviting. I was reminded of a day late in September when it was in the 70s still and we took the kayak out and swam around until sundown. 

Ah, life, I'm not even trying to understand anymore. I'm just going with what my gut tells me to do. I'm not following anyone. What's the point of that? 

Each day is a gift, really. The rest...well... 

In the end, what matters? That I followed what everyone else told me to do or that I lived well? 

Everyone has got to make there own decisions in this life. Where you go and what you do is up to you. I'm not here to convince you of anything, except maybe to tell you that all the the answers you need, you've already got. It's just a matter of tuning in. And perhaps....taking it easy.