Healing for the Earth, Day 17: Let go of Expectations

Hi there Earthlings!

Wow! Everything is changing so RAPIDLY. Can you feel it?

I just took on a new tech position at my college and my brain is on overload. So much new information and sometimes I feel like I have to be an expert in what I'm doing, but I'm not!!!! In fact, I'd call myself rather un-techie. Today we had a Zoom meeting with 21 teachers and I realized that they probably have it more together in the tech department than I do.

However, I did teach a synchronized online class for the first time last quarter and so I have experience teaching online. I think that's the only reason I got the tech job.

Part of me wants to pull out of the position and another part says Let go of your high expectations and just ride the wave. You probably know more than you think you do.

So I decided to let go of my expectations today and just ride this crazy wave we are all on.


 I'm having trouble following through with tasks and deciding which tasks are most important in any given moment. There's a part of me that is aware that I need to keep up with my job and online materials, but there's a bigger part of me that feels I need to pay attention to my body, mind and spirit in this ever-changing time.

I had a tech meeting at 11am and another meeting with 21 teachers at 4:30pm. Luckily, between those two times, I got outside and took a long walk on the beach nearby.


 The tide was waaaaaayyyy out and I felt like I was walking on the moon. I walked out on a sand bar and part of me wanted to just keep walking to the end of time or the end of this time to when this virus is gone from our lives and we are all onto a new chapter in our Earthly lives, one that is more in-tune and loving. One where we take care of the Earth, fellow Earthlings and all other beings in our web.

But we have a long road ahead I feel and Rome wasn't built in a day. In fact, Rome is kind of falling apart again.

I'm letting go of expectations. When I give myself permission to realize that I don't and WE don't have it all figured out, I feel so much more at ease.

When I tune into very simple, small things, like sunshine and flowers and birds along my trail, I'm reminded that all we ever really have is this moment. Tomorrow is not promised to us. All of nature is pointing me to be aware of this. It's asking me to pay attention to what is right under my nose.

For weeks, I haven't seen the deer. It has made me sad. They use to come and sleep outside my window every single night. It's been about a month or more since I've seen a deer in front of the house. Today, as I let go and as I was typing this, one came right up to the deck and stared. I didn't expect that AT ALL. It touched my heart so deeply. It was a message that when I let go, everything I need is right here. In fact, when I hold too tightly to an agenda or plan, I sometimes miss nature's promptings.

 I feel, in my job, that people are ready to just jump back on the bandwagon, but things are shifting fast. We are all going through a shift both internally and externally. Our bodies and minds need time for this reboot to happen. I'm only running on 20-30% in the outer world right now because my inside is downloading so much new info. It usually happens when I sleep. I can feel it.


What happens to one of us happens to all of us. Give yourself a HUGE BREAK! Let go of being ultra productive or having it all together. This is a time when things are falling apart or unraveling. Sometimes going with the flow is all we can do. I don't always get things checked off my list. Heck, I'm having trouble finding the list.

Each day is a brand new day and offers new things. If we have this hefty agenda of expectations of what NEEDS to happen, we are missing the little things that want to enter into the picture.

There are some days when all I can do is breath, or walk, or take a bath. Other days,  I have to shut the computer off and read a book for pleasure or write in my journal. When that happens, all my original plans get thrown out the window, just like they did when this virus took over. And that is OKAY! That's life!

When we have a virus on our computers, we have to install malware, but sometimes that doesn't work. We may end up having to throw out the old computer and get a new one. We may have to let go of files, and documents and pictures. We may lose some things that we once cherished.

We may have to start again.

There are two questions I've been asking myself lately that you may also want to play with:

1. If this were my last day on Earth, how would I want to spend it?
2. In the new world we are entering, how do I want to show up? What would I like to let go of and what would I like to keep?

Good questions to ponder right now. In the meantime, I'm going to flow like the river. I'm going to let go. I'm going to remain flexible and agile and be willing to change as the world changes. I'm going to give myself a break if I don't meet all the expectations I need to meet. How about you?